tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post1351407882892747302..comments2023-06-24T03:33:29.854-07:00Comments on Summer Haiku 2009: Rachel Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13048590167153841615noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-79101250228207674232009-07-02T04:28:24.932-07:002009-07-02T04:28:24.932-07:00What about this, guys?
long empty road--
a fast c...What about this, guys?<br /><br />long empty road--<br />a fast car speeding through<br />the curved airWahyu W. Basjirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04260428377205211034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-82235389273953315792009-07-02T01:47:26.200-07:002009-07-02T01:47:26.200-07:00Can you describe in just a basic prose description...Can you describe in just a basic prose description what you saw, and mean, by that first line?<br /><br />Don't do anything else yet, just that. <br /><br />all my best,<br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-89936143420680281352009-07-01T20:56:39.149-07:002009-07-01T20:56:39.149-07:00I, too, like the last two lines a lot. Keep rewor...I, too, like the last two lines a lot. Keep reworking the first line -- perhaps replacing "interstate" with more descriptive words...diana l.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12508598285292827626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-7594850706391586782009-07-01T19:41:08.085-07:002009-07-01T19:41:08.085-07:00Thank you Alan. I am not happy with the first line...Thank you Alan. I am not happy with the first line, though..Wahyu W. Basjirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04260428377205211034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-80068475265762221932009-07-01T05:28:31.465-07:002009-07-01T05:28:31.465-07:00Terrific couple of lines:
a fast car speeding th...Terrific couple of lines: <br /><br /><i>a fast car speeding through<br />the curved air</i><br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.com