tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post3732483522854074333..comments2023-06-24T03:33:29.854-07:00Comments on Summer Haiku 2009: Rachel Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13048590167153841615noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-59696825057070916852009-07-04T10:07:50.591-07:002009-07-04T10:07:50.591-07:00Thanks. I was thinking the same thing about the &...Thanks. I was thinking the same thing about the "I". It sort of imports the west into the east, doesn't it?diana l.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12508598285292827626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-6911981017521900112009-07-03T18:17:20.652-07:002009-07-03T18:17:20.652-07:00after the last few weeks I had, I needed to destre...after the last few weeks I had, I needed to destress badly.<br /><br />I was focusing on the acts of gardening not myself. That is why I did not use "I" in the third line. I do like Diana's second line though....Reihaishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17667891019180359894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-90861746559405731882009-07-03T15:28:49.330-07:002009-07-03T15:28:49.330-07:00My version:
early morning
I pull weeds and deadhe...My version:<br /><br /><i>early morning<br />I pull weeds and deadhead shrubs<br />to center myself </i><br /><br /><br />Diana's version:<br /><br /><i>early morning<br />pulling weeds, deadheading shrubs<br />I center myself</i><br /><br />I definitely prefer Diana's version!<br /><br />.<br /><br />.Area 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-43932923314904110302009-07-03T12:56:52.816-07:002009-07-03T12:56:52.816-07:00So you use gardening in this way, too!
Very nice.
...So you use gardening in this way, too!<br />Very nice.<br /><br />(How about replacing "and" with a comma and "to" with "I"? Although I think that neither of these suggestions is very traditional haiku...yet I like the way they sound:))diana l.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12508598285292827626noreply@blogger.com