tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post468836906345372663..comments2023-06-24T03:33:29.854-07:00Comments on Summer Haiku 2009: Rachel Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13048590167153841615noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-87844441411990997092009-07-15T04:20:13.776-07:002009-07-15T04:20:13.776-07:00This paints such a pretty little summer picture. ...This paints such a pretty little summer picture. I agree with Alan about that 'as' - it would just be a bit more balanced that way.jemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08181038873568527264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-8564552628446031862009-07-14T02:56:51.095-07:002009-07-14T02:56:51.095-07:00I liked this fun haiku. ;-)
You might consider mo...I liked this fun haiku. ;-)<br /><br />You might consider moving <b>as</b> down a line though?<br /><br /><i>sparrow song <br />as clover flowers<br />tickle bare feet</i><br /><br />Or consider making it a one line haiku?<br /><br /><i>sparrow song clover flowers tickle bare feet</i><br /><br />.Area 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.com