tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post7662323958410145073..comments2023-06-24T03:33:29.854-07:00Comments on Summer Haiku 2009: 5 amRachel Greenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13048590167153841615noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-60386335398399535112009-08-06T15:13:57.872-07:002009-08-06T15:13:57.872-07:00very good David
johnvery good David<br />johnJohn McDonaldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02306609410526737715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-42375139289828080592009-08-05T17:58:25.398-07:002009-08-05T17:58:25.398-07:00Just beautiful, David!Just beautiful, David!diana l.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12508598285292827626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-78196338584187099782009-08-04T03:55:33.345-07:002009-08-04T03:55:33.345-07:00I agree with jem! ;-)
across the deer park
patche...I agree with jem! ;-)<br /><br /><i>across the deer park<br />patches of mist –<br />the ghosts of dawn </i><br /><br />You could make <b><i>"across the deer park"</i></b> into a pivot line? <br /><br />e.g.<br /><br /><i>the ghosts of dawn<br />across the deer park<br />patches of mist<br /> </i><br /><br />or<br /><br /><i>patches of mist<br />across the deer park<br />the ghosts of dawn<br /><br /> </i><br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2659026536331999061.post-33146628378769177332009-08-04T02:18:35.852-07:002009-08-04T02:18:35.852-07:00Nice one - that last line is a treat!Nice one - that last line is a treat!jemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08181038873568527264noreply@blogger.com