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Friday, August 7, 2009

clutch of crows
rest in the iris blue shadows
of twilight --
mad dog heat
at
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2 comments:

Pan Haiku Review said...

Hi Kelly,

clutch of crows
rest in the iris blue shadows
of twilight --
mad dog heat

Is this iris this sort?

iris weblink: Blue Eyed Blonde Intermediate Bearded Iris

I think the last line might be a bit too much?

e.g.

clutch of crows
in the iris blue shadows
of twilight

to maybe...

clutch of crows
in the iris shadows
of twilight

?????


.

August 07, 2009
Kelly M. said...

Well, Alan, I'll consider your suggestion. I'm new at this and may be a bit too verbose? It's often hard to whittle down to the simple essense of the thing itself --

August 13, 2009

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