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Monday, June 1, 2009

Found Haiku

Taken from a recent conservational exchange on Facebook I pulled some words, changed some, to create this:

close to home
a locust's trill brings
summer memories

Makoto Hirose

For Makoto this is an experiential haiku, and it just goes to prove that when we don't try to write poetry in our head but talk or write naturally, then a proto-haiku occurs.

3 comments:

John McDonald said...

good stuff Alan
john

nora said...

I like it, Alan!

martin said...

Here we go again…

I sound like President Reagan, sorry.

I don’t fully understand haiku. However, I believe there is no distinction between a haiku made up in the head and so-called writing it naturally. The only difference I understand is direct experience versus indirect experience. If you accept that indirect experience can form a haiku than imagining some happening is as good a subject as directly experiencing one. My attempt that I made up in my head follows:

childhood beach house
the wind ripples the dune

I tried to share the longing and lose of childhood and for some, regrets of the past and a wish to start all over again. I wrote this as an attempted example to a submitters writing on tinywords and forget the context. I think something to do with the beach was in the original submitted poem and whether I succeeded is another matter. My point is that I imagined this poem from indirect bits of experience. I have seen sand dunes ripple from the wind and have seen in movies where the main character looks at a location where they grew up in and remembered their happy or sad moments like in the movie “Scrooge” or “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” that comes to mind. It’s a bit of a cliché, but I used the ripples in the sand as a reference to the sands of time.

When you mention natural writing as opposed to writing poetry in your head, I believe that is a false distinction. Maybe it has roots in religion, original sin that is humanity versus nature. What is synthetic, a well-groomed lawn compared to a clearing in the forest. I believe we are part of nature and what we imagine is from combining different bits of direct or indirect experience into a particular expression or feeling. We don’t create that implies nothing from something. We imagine a feeling that we may not have had a direct experience but can infer it. Empathy is a strong understanding.

I believe that imagined or direct experience is both valid expressions in my limited understanding of haiku.

Thanks,

martin

PS I liked the haiku.