I lay
under a shower of old gold.
Laburnum petals fall.
under a shower of old gold.
Laburnum petals fall.
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♦ Discussion group (anthology project) The Four Seasons of Haiku on Facebook
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Summer Haiku 2009
A community of haiku poets recording and sharing their experiences of summer, in haiku, tanka, haiga, haibun and senryu. How to join see here...
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♦ Discussion group (anthology project) The Four Seasons of Haiku on Facebook
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7 comments:
Good one Rachel - I'd take 'falls' out though
lovely, I love laburnum and your picture captures it beautifully
Very good Rachel - allow me a remix:
I walk
through petal shower
with golden chain
Love it!
I agree with David, you don't need 'fall'.
You have two versions of your haiku I see, one in the 'haiga' (beautiful art) and one on the page:
I lie
under a shower of old gold...
laburnum petals
I lay
under a shower of old gold
laburnum petals
Not sure you need so many periods (full stops). As haiku are open-ended one period might be okay for exceptions, but two is one or two many. ;-)
More of this artwork from you please! ;-)
Alan
yes good one
john
Good combination of paint and words.
I love "a shower of old gold".
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