
WELCOMEINTRODUCTIONHOW TO JOIN RULES

previous seasons
-------spring --------------summer ------------ autumn ----------- winter -----

2006 2007 2008 2009 2006 2007 2008 2006 2007 2008 2006 2007 2008

succeeding season
Autumn 2009 @ our new website The Four Seasons of Haiku

Saturday, June 20, 2009

massif de lavande -
the track of a snail
on pine bark

***

massif de lavande -
la trace d'un escargot
sur les écorces de pin

2 comments:

Alan Summers said...

I really like this.

I suggest that you remove the s on pine bark.

I also feel you could keep the French for the first line as it's an actual place.

As usual your haiku have layers to enjoy on many readings, and you always think of the reader, thank you! ;-)


massif de lavande -
the track of a snail
on pine bark


.

Damien Gabriels said...

Thank you for your constant interest, Alan

and as you know I (often) follow your wise advice, I'll change my post as you suggest it

many thanks