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Saturday, June 20, 2009

massif de lavande -
the track of a snail
on pine bark

***

massif de lavande -
la trace d'un escargot
sur les écorces de pin
at
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2 comments:

Area 17 said...

I really like this.

I suggest that you remove the s on pine bark.

I also feel you could keep the French for the first line as it's an actual place.

As usual your haiku have layers to enjoy on many readings, and you always think of the reader, thank you! ;-)


massif de lavande -
the track of a snail
on pine bark

.

June 20, 2009
Damien Gabriels said...

Thank you for your constant interest, Alan

and as you know I (often) follow your wise advice, I'll change my post as you suggest it

many thanks

June 20, 2009

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