I really like this.I suggest that you remove the s on pine bark.I also feel you could keep the French for the first line as it's an actual place.As usual your haiku have layers to enjoy on many readings, and you always think of the reader, thank you! ;-)massif de lavande -the track of a snailon pine bark.
Thank you for your constant interest, Alanand as you know I (often) follow your wise advice, I'll change my post as you suggest itmany thanks
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2 comments:
I really like this.
I suggest that you remove the s on pine bark.
I also feel you could keep the French for the first line as it's an actual place.
As usual your haiku have layers to enjoy on many readings, and you always think of the reader, thank you! ;-)
massif de lavande -
the track of a snail
on pine bark
.
Thank you for your constant interest, Alan
and as you know I (often) follow your wise advice, I'll change my post as you suggest it
many thanks
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