like this onejohn
So do I!I do wonder if 'ancient' is a bit overpowering and obvious?A compromise might be 'old sun' to tie in with some beliefs regarding each sunrise as a new sun.dusk--the old sun lies downin a bed of roses.
You're right, Alan. It took me some times to bounce between "old" and "ancient" before picking the last one. Thx.
It's difficult when you are so close to a haiku. I have the same problem at times believe me! ;-)Alan
Just lovely.
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6 comments:
like this one
john
So do I!
I do wonder if 'ancient' is a bit overpowering and obvious?
A compromise might be 'old sun' to tie in with some beliefs regarding each sunrise as a new sun.
dusk--
the old sun lies down
in a bed of roses
.
You're right, Alan. It took me some times to bounce between "old" and "ancient" before picking the last one. Thx.
It's difficult when you are so close to a haiku. I have the same problem at times believe me! ;-)
Alan
Just lovely.
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