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Autumn 2009 @ our new website The Four Seasons of Haiku

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

dusk--
the ancient sun lies down
in a bed of roses

6 comments:

John McDonald said...

like this one
john

Alan Summers said...

So do I!

I do wonder if 'ancient' is a bit overpowering and obvious?

A compromise might be 'old sun' to tie in with some beliefs regarding each sunrise as a new sun.

dusk--
the old sun lies down
in a bed of roses


.

Wandering spirit said...

You're right, Alan. It took me some times to bounce between "old" and "ancient" before picking the last one. Thx.

Alan Summers said...

It's difficult when you are so close to a haiku. I have the same problem at times believe me! ;-)

Alan

diana l. said...

Just lovely.

martin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.