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Thursday, July 2, 2009

For Diana (Another version and that's it folks, no more)

grandma's ranting
the weak wipers no match
to the relentless rain

3 comments:

diana l. said...

Thanks, Vic. I debated between "unrelenting" and "uncompromising". Hope grandma is in a better mood now. :)

Alan Summers said...

I have to say that I prefer this version because there's a neat suggested metaphor in "relentless rain" and it ties in with a nice short long short visual appearance of a classic haiku.

Vic Gendrano said...

Hi Diana,

You can easily write several different versions of your poem. The process of revision, revision, which I do a lot will surely help. And thanks for letting me dovetail to your poem.

And Alan, thank you very much for your kind and constructive comments of my tanka in the OfftheWall contest. I just learned from Yvonne that you were the judge. Merci, Danke, Arigatu, Muchas gracias, Salamat po.