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Autumn 2009 @ our new website The Four Seasons of Haiku

Saturday, August 22, 2009

children playings
in a nearby garden
- august twilight


***

jeux d'enfants
dans un jardin voisin
- crépuscule d'août

3 comments:

Area 17 said...

Hi Damien,

You might consider a slight alteration in wording from:

children playings
in a nearby garden
- august twilight


to

children playing
in a nearby garden
- august twilight


and even consider:

summer twilight
the nearby garden fills
with children playing


all my best,
Alan
With Words Online Haiku Competition Results
.

nora said...

Just wonderful, Damien!

Kelly M. said...

crepuscule d'aout -- a lovely sound to that, which only French could capture!