Hi Damien,You might consider a slight alteration in wording from:children playingsin a nearby garden- august twilighttochildren playingin a nearby garden- august twilightand even consider:summer twilightthe nearby garden fillswith children playingall my best,AlanWith Words Online Haiku Competition Results.
Just wonderful, Damien!
crepuscule d'aout -- a lovely sound to that, which only French could capture!
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3 comments:
Hi Damien,
You might consider a slight alteration in wording from:
children playings
in a nearby garden
- august twilight
to
children playing
in a nearby garden
- august twilight
and even consider:
summer twilight
the nearby garden fills
with children playing
all my best,
Alan
With Words Online Haiku Competition Results
.
Just wonderful, Damien!
crepuscule d'aout -- a lovely sound to that, which only French could capture!
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