the path crack
spilling ants - mopped up
by a waiting wren
a white butterfly
.I thought this haiku was terrific!grey skya white butterflydodges raindropsI wondered if you could play around with the syntax and order of the lines a bit more?the path crackspilling ants - mopped upby a waiting wrenWhat genus of wren was it? That might add a bit of particularity.wikipedia weblink: wrense.g.Rock Wren Flutist Wren Carolina Wren etc... etc...cracked path spilling ants mopped upby a rock wrencracked path spilling ants mopped upby a flutist wrencracked path spilling ants mopped upby a Carolina wren.
enjoyed these jemjohn
"mopped up" ; i like thatmuch lovegillena
excellent images both of them. For a UK reader, wren says it all....
Really liked the 1st one - I like the near-alliteration (waiting / wren) and I like "mopped up" - in the military, the infantry troops that go in after the successful invasion are considered to perform a "mop up" role. The wren figured out where to wait, waited patiently, and now she gets her reward.
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