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Monday, August 17, 2009

street
of bumping umbrellas -
stream of bright flotsam
at
Author Archive

1 comment:

Area 17 said...

I love those first two lines! It felt very concrete, not just visual, but I could feel and hear the bumping!

I felt that the last line was a bit abstract and didn't add to the terrific first two lines, but rather repeated them in a less effective way.

Sorry to sound harsh, but I was blown away (no pun intended) by those first two lines, and the last line didn't measure up to them.

Alan

August 18, 2009

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