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Autumn 2009 @ our new website The Four Seasons of Haiku

Monday, August 17, 2009

of bumping umbrellas -
stream of bright flotsam

1 comment:

Alan Summers said...

I love those first two lines! It felt very concrete, not just visual, but I could feel and hear the bumping!

I felt that the last line was a bit abstract and didn't add to the terrific first two lines, but rather repeated them in a less effective way.

Sorry to sound harsh, but I was blown away (no pun intended) by those first two lines, and the last line didn't measure up to them.