I really like this! Good gentle haiku humour.I think it's just a bit choppy and wonder if it could be something like...shopping jaunta salmon colored rose bushby the fish counter Just a thought. ;-)
I like your recent focus on color, Reihaisha.
thanks Alan - I have been doing an excercise where I express thoughts in simple phrases.Diana, I had been looking for that particualr color rose for a month and could not find one - I have been fixated on colors lateley ;)
"thanks Alan - I have been doing an excercise where I express thoughts in simple phrases." Sounds good Reihaisha!But perhaps even a definite article in the last line, might just smooth out that line?shopping jauntsalmon colored rose bushnext to the fish counter
Alanthe last rewrite sounds right - thank you
Post a Comment