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Autumn 2009 @ our new website The Four Seasons of Haiku

Friday, June 19, 2009

visit with sister
catching up under the fan
long into the night

1 comment:

Alan Summers said...

Excellent!

May I suggest an article or pronoun for the first line?

a visit with my sister
catching up under the fan
long into the night

visiting the sister
catching up under the fan
long into the night

visiting my sister
catching up under the fan
long into the night

sister's visit
catching up under the fan
long into the night

my sister's visit
catching up under the fan
long into the night


This is a fine haiku and I can see your voice becoming stronger and stronger in your work. You are coming close to having a really must-have poetry collection on the horizon.

all my very best,

Alan