nice feeling Gwilymjohn
I love that first line because it beautifully, and originally sets up the phrase part of the haiku!I wonder if adding "in" might enhance the idea of the two line phrase effect?back to the sunsetthe song of the blackbirdthe sunflower fieldback to the sunsetthe song of the blackbirdin a sunflower fieldback to the sunsetthe blackbird's songin a sunflower field.
Thanks Alan and you're absolutely right of course!
Lovely haiku. It's why I am so passionate about tweaking a single word. ;-0
Post a Comment