Ah I love window boxes that are chocker!'indifferent sky' wonderful!I notice that sometimes you use a two sentence construction, and wonder if you could soften the effect?Haiku are usually incomplete verses because they were the first verse of a linking poem of many verses and would be partially completed by the second verse, which in turn could only be 'completed' by the third verse, and so on.That's why it's unusual to close up a haiku with full stops (periods) or other punctuation e.g.indifferent skyrain enters the window boxesof my strawberries .
Oh, yes. Your edit is much better, Alan. Thank you for the help.Of all the haiku I write, perhaps one in thirty make me say 'Ah! That one is just so.'
Wow, one in thirty beats me and Basho! ;-)Well done. I've yet to see one of my own that says it's the perfect haiku or any poem, but it's fun to keep trying. ;-)
I, too, love the phrase "indifferent sky". (Would that the sky wasn't so!)
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