Summer Haiku 2009

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Rain pours
from an indifferent sky.
Strawberries in window boxes.

Area 17 said...: Ah I love window boxes that are chocker!

'indifferent sky' wonderful!

I notice that sometimes you use a two sentence construction, and wonder if you could soften the effect?

Haiku are usually incomplete verses because they were the first verse of a linking poem of many verses and would be partially completed by the second verse, which in turn could only be 'completed' by the third verse, and so on.

That's why it's unusual to close up a haiku with full stops (periods) or other punctuation e.g.

indifferent sky
rain enters the window boxes
of my strawberries

.; July 07, 2009
Rachel Green said...: Oh, yes. Your edit is much better, Alan.

Thank you for the help.

Of all the haiku I write, perhaps one in thirty make me say 'Ah! That one is just so.'; July 07, 2009
Area 17 said...: Wow, one in thirty beats me and Basho! ;-)

Well done. I've yet to see one of my own that says it's the perfect haiku or any poem, but it's fun to keep trying. ;-); July 07, 2009
diana l. said...: I, too, love the phrase "indifferent sky". (Would that the sky wasn't so!); July 07, 2009