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Monday, July 13, 2009

through the night
moon travels across my room
and sleep eludes me
at
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4 comments:

diana l. said...

Very nice. Hope this is the exception to the rule for your sleeping pattern:(

July 13, 2009
John McDonald said...

enjoyed this
john

July 14, 2009
Area 17 said...

I really like this, and I really like haiku that deal with not being able to sleep.

I just wonder if you could avoid starting the poem with through and bring that marvelous last line to the first line, because it creates even more impact.

sleep eludes me
the moon travels my room
through the night

Also this increases the almost "magical realism" that is hinted at, and underlines our sleep/not asleep relationships.

.

July 14, 2009
Beatrice V said...

LOvely

July 14, 2009

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