I like it, Diana! Consider removing the adjectives. :-)
I did think that "softly" was probably a bit redundant, but you'd drop "trembling" as well? (too melodramatic, perhaps?)
I would, but it's yours. I think it can stand beautifully without them.
Thanks...and I appreciate the care with which you give your feedback! :)
Diana,I'll convert your haiku into a tanka where you can have fun and are free to express your emotions any way you want. As I like your poem, this is for you to use as you want or you can toss it away.so softlya trembling butterflyalights on methe nascent first line of my tanka
How lovely, Vic. Thank you so much. (I wouldn't dream of tossing it away!)
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