across the deer park
patches of mist –
the ghosts of dawn
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♦ Discussion group (anthology project) The Four Seasons of Haiku on Facebook
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Summer Haiku 2009
A community of haiku poets recording and sharing their experiences of summer, in haiku, tanka, haiga, haibun and senryu. How to join see here...
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♦ Discussion group (anthology project) The Four Seasons of Haiku on Facebook
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4 comments:
Nice one - that last line is a treat!
I agree with jem! ;-)
across the deer park
patches of mist –
the ghosts of dawn
You could make "across the deer park" into a pivot line?
e.g.
the ghosts of dawn
across the deer park
patches of mist
or
patches of mist
across the deer park
the ghosts of dawn
Alan
Just beautiful, David!
very good David
john
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