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Sunday, August 2, 2009

dusk
around a Lammas fire
bats

4 comments:

David said...

I like this Rachel. Good one!

Alan Summers said...

Cool, but do you know what kind so bats? That would add to it.

Also not sure about the line format with a colon.

e.g.

pipistrelle bats
around a Lammas fire
dusk comes early


???

?

David said...

yes I agree - ditch the colon

but we townies don't need to know what kind of bats

a strength of this haiku is evoked with the mysterious and evocative word 'Lammas' - there is no need to stretch us further

David

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thank you both.
Help is always appreciated.

Alas, I don't know what sort of bats.