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Saturday, August 29, 2009

high grass -
an ant in the jungle
of my leg hairs


***

herbes hautes -
une fourmi dans la jungle
des poils de ma jambe

3 comments:

Area 17 said...

.
I love it!

Superbly underplayed, and beautifully understated.

You allow the reader to enjoy the humour, and the sensations, in their own way without being "instructed" to read it "the poet's way".

You are a very open poet for readers.

This haiku has other layers of meaning, and worth reading more than twice.

Another haiku that should go into a collection or anthology!

My only two very minor suggestions on amending/editing the haiku are purely on plural and possessive grounds, merely technical and therefore minor:

from

high grasses -
an ant in the jungle
of my leg's hairs


to:

high grass -
an ant in the jungle
of my leg hairs


You are one of my favourite English-language haiku poets, when is a collection out!!! ;-)

all my best,
Alan
With Words Online Haiku Competition Results
.

diana l. said...

Oooh. Itchy. Wonderfully funny and tactile.

Damien Gabriels said...

Once again, all my thanks for your comment and your attention : you make me redden and I think your compliments are too kind !

Of course, I agree with your suggestions and change my post to improve my haiku

all my best