high grass -
an ant in the jungle
of my leg hairs
***
herbes hautes -
une fourmi dans la jungle
des poils de ma jambe
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♦ Discussion group (anthology project) The Four Seasons of Haiku on Facebook
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Summer Haiku 2009
A community of haiku poets recording and sharing their experiences of summer, in haiku, tanka, haiga, haibun and senryu. How to join see here...
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♦ Discussion group (anthology project) The Four Seasons of Haiku on Facebook
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3 comments:
.
I love it!
Superbly underplayed, and beautifully understated.
You allow the reader to enjoy the humour, and the sensations, in their own way without being "instructed" to read it "the poet's way".
You are a very open poet for readers.
This haiku has other layers of meaning, and worth reading more than twice.
Another haiku that should go into a collection or anthology!
My only two very minor suggestions on amending/editing the haiku are purely on plural and possessive grounds, merely technical and therefore minor:
from
high grasses -
an ant in the jungle
of my leg's hairs
to:
high grass -
an ant in the jungle
of my leg hairs
You are one of my favourite English-language haiku poets, when is a collection out!!! ;-)
all my best,
Alan
With Words Online Haiku Competition Results
.
Oooh. Itchy. Wonderfully funny and tactile.
Once again, all my thanks for your comment and your attention : you make me redden and I think your compliments are too kind !
Of course, I agree with your suggestions and change my post to improve my haiku
all my best
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