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Friday, July 24, 2009

fallen leaf
on the still pond--
ripples a moment

7 comments:

Alan Summers said...

Like the haiku with allusion to Basho!

I wonder if you could play around with it a bit more e.g.

fallen leaf
on the still pond--
ripples a moment


to

fallen leaf--
on the still pond
a moment ripples


.

Wandering spirit said...

Absolutely. My first version goes

a leaf falls
on the still pond--
a moment ripples

This simply as seen on my blog

Alan Summers said...

I certainly like your original version with a leaf falls.

Wandering spirit said...

Thank you, Alan.

Laure said...

Wahyu ... i like what you've written and agree with Alan and you that "a moment ripples" really ends the verse powerfully.

Wandering spirit said...

Thank you, Laure. I keep them both on my blog.

diana l. said...

This haiku pulls me into the "snapshot" experience of the moment. It feels very restful there.