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Thursday, July 23, 2009

ground spattered
with husks of raspberries;
sparrows linger

2 comments:

Alan Summers said...

Hi Rachel!

I wonder if you could zoom into just one sparrow?

Also, if it was a house sparrow (or was it a hedge sparrow?) you could bring in a bit of Issa haiku humour maybe? e.g.


ground spattered
with husks of raspberries;
sparrows linger


to


spattered floor
a house sparrow lingers over
the raspberries


.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thank you Alan. Your version is such an improvement