Hi Rachel!I wonder if you could zoom into just one sparrow?Also, if it was a house sparrow (or was it a hedge sparrow?) you could bring in a bit of Issa haiku humour maybe? e.g.ground spatteredwith husks of raspberries;sparrows linger tospattered floora house sparrow lingers overthe raspberries.
Thank you Alan. Your version is such an improvement
Post a Comment