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Monday, July 13, 2009

Sparrow song as
clover flowers
tickle bare feet
at
Author Archive

2 comments:

Area 17 said...

I liked this fun haiku. ;-)

You might consider moving as down a line though?

sparrow song
as clover flowers
tickle bare feet

Or consider making it a one line haiku?

sparrow song clover flowers tickle bare feet

.

July 14, 2009
jem said...

This paints such a pretty little summer picture. I agree with Alan about that 'as' - it would just be a bit more balanced that way.

July 15, 2009

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