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Autumn 2009 @ our new website The Four Seasons of Haiku

Sunday, August 9, 2009

'
surprise family visit
the late afternoon gleam
on homemade chocolate

5 comments:

John McDonald said...

good one alan
john

Area 17 said...

It was yummy chocolate made by my wife. Much better, and cheaper than shop bought, which is often a few months old from a factory. ;-)

Area 17 said...

family visit
the gleam of the late light
on homemade chocolate


to

surprise family visit
the late afternoon gleam
on homemade chocolate


.

Wahyu W. Basjir said...

Happiness was in the air. I can feel it, Alan.

Area 17 said...

Thanks for the comments, and yes I did have a nice time, but didn't want to limit the proto-haiku to be just that.

I'm still not happy with this poem and it isn't a haiku yet, but glad I had a couple of goes at it.

Sometimes these things work, sometimes not. It won't be going into any magazine though. ;-)

Alan