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Friday, June 19, 2009

deserted park--
old wooden bench succumbs
to the moonlight


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5 comments:

Area 17 said...

I really like this.

I wonder if an indefinite article might work?

deserted park--
a wooden bench succumbs
to the moonlight

.

June 19, 2009
Wahyu W. Basjir said...

Yippeee...Thx, Alan! I think it really works and makes the image much stronger..

June 19, 2009
Area 17 said...

.
I really like the use of 'succumbs'; it's a well-judged choice of verb that adds layers of possible meanings and happenstances.

June 19, 2009
Vic Gendrano said...

I like the words deserted and old here - aloneness and advanced age finally rewarded with a glimmer of hope.

June 19, 2009
diana l. said...

I liked all of those words, and really enjoy your interpretations, Vic!

June 19, 2009

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